I want a girl to make a mess
To do no wrong she must confess
And then perhaps hitch up her dress
'Cos when the flashbulbs explode
She's such a sensitive soul...
I want a girl who is helpless and frail
Who won't pull on my ponytail
I want a girl who has no past
She's made up now
But that won't last
'Cos when she sits on my knee
And then she whispers to me
"Can't you see
I could be
I could be
Your spooky girlfriend"
The broken toys are all scattered in the attic
Newspapers play with the words of the fanatic
While the greeting cards are your most poetic lyric
And the flat champagne is sweet sugar syrup
I want to paint you with glitter and with dirt
Picture you wit innocence and hurt
The shutter closes
Exposes the shot
she says, "Are you looking up my skirt?"
When you say "No"
She says "Why not?"
I want a girl to turn my screw
To wind my watch, to buckle my shoe
And if she won't her mother will do
Cos when she does as she's told
We'll all turn platinum and gold
But when she sits on my knee
I hear her whispers to me
"Can't you see?
"I could be your spooky girlfriend"
Elvis Costello, When I was cruel, 2002